How Much?
Sorry for the length between posts for those of you who still care to check this here blog.Something has happened recently that has made me sit and think. How much does someone need to be loved before they actually notice. There are four people outside of my family that I actually say, "I love you," to. One of them is a friend that I am so head over heels for that I look rather pathetic. One is someone I consider a really close friend, and it just fits him. One is my ex, who I do honestly still love, and the last is someone I care about a lot though whether in a dating way is still up in the air.
The one that I am heed over heals for...I asked out on an actual date. The response from him was that he doesn't date friends followed by a bunch of other excuses. He doesn't want to mess up the friendship and all this other crap. I have been in love with this person for the last two years of my life. Previous to now I would drop anything if he asked me too, and at times I have. Him saying that finally gave me a good smack up side the head and made me realize how much am I going to put myself through with this guy when nothing is ever going to happen no matter how devoted I am to him.
I have decided that I can't continue to put myself through this with him. Every time I am around him I have fun, but then there is this hurt feeling that goes along with it. I am not at all stalkerish. I could never do that to anyone. As a matter of fact I am the exact opposite. I don't want to feel this way, so I am going to remove what is causing the pain, and the only way for me to do that is to end the friendship with him. I guess that is being childish, but I don't know what else to do. Anyway, opinions are welcome, and I will try to post more. Not promising anything though.
posted by Matt @ 1:57 PM
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